We can trust and listen to ourselves. Help me stop pleasing other people and start pleasing myself. Setting Our Own Course We can trust and listen to ourselves. Help me stop pleasing other people and start pleasing myself. We are powerless over other people's expectations of us. We cannot control what others want, what they expect, or what they want us to do and be. We can control how we respond to other people's expectations. During the course of any day, people may make demands on our time, talents, energy, money, and emotions. We do not have to say yes to every request. We do not have to feel guilty if we say no. And we do not have to allow the barrage of demands to control the course of our life. We do not have to spend our life reacting to others and to the course they would prefer we took with our life. We can set boundaries, firm limits on how far we shall go with others. We can trust and listen to ourselves. We can set goals and direction for our life. We ca...

Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on. It is always a mistake not to close one's eyes, whether to forgive or to look better into oneself. Maurice Maeterlinck https://sites.google.com/site/aaa12stepccounsellingcsociety/home https://aaa12stepcccsociety.blogspot.com/2017/03/aaa12stepccounsellingcsociety-john_8.html It is easy to look outward and find faults with the world and people around us. We criticize family members or complain about our friends. We always notice disease in the trees around us. But if we take time to be quiet, to sit alone in a tree or by a lake, we become more aware of how connected we are to the life around us. We are part of the beauty and the imperfection. When we notice our own tree is not perfect, it becomes easier to forgive the blights of those around us. It is also important to forgive ourselves our faults. Though all the trees are beautiful, they each have their scars. Being human means we are, like all humanity, both beau...

Everyone needs to be loved. I care today? Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. - Karl Menninger Receiving a loving hug from a parent or perhaps a smile from a friend or even a stranger gives us a special feeling inside. We know we are important to others when they show us their love through attention. And we sometimes forget that we matter to others. Family members and friends feel good in the same way when we show them our love. Everyone needs to be loved. How can we show our love? Must it be through a hug? Doing a favor for someone is loving. Helping around the house or the yard is loving, particularly when we've volunteered our help. Giving an unexpected gift to a friend is a way of showing love. Showing others we care, even when they are angry, is perhaps the nicest of all expressions of love. What new way can I show someone I care today? https://sites.google.com/site/aaa12stepccounsellingcsociety/home https://aaa12stepcccsociety.blogspo...

https://aaa12stepcccsociety.blogspot.com/2017/03/aaa12stepccounsellingcsociety-john_8.html https://sites.google.com/site/aaa12stepccounsellingcsociety/home > What problems am I lucky to have? Edmund Vance Cooke "Oh, a trouble's a ton, or a trouble's an ounce, Or a trouble is what you make it, And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts, But only how you take it." Once, a woman decided to throw a problem-exchange party. As guests arrived, they shed all their personal problems and tossed them onto a pile with everyone else's. After all had discussed their own problem for others to hear, the party ended with guests selecting from the problem pile those they wished to carry away. Each person left with the same troubles he or she had brought to the party. We who worry a great deal about our problems are always sure no one else has troubles as bad as ours. Too often, we complain, "If you had my problems, ...

Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. kindness and gentleness prevail over violence and force. https://soundcloud.com/anne-starke-615558911/the-north-wind-and-the-sun Let the gentle bush dig its root deep and spread upward to split one boulder.Carl Sandburg There is a fable about the sun and wind having a contest to see who can get the old man to take his coat off first. The wind blows fiercely, but the old man just pulls his coat tighter around him. Finally, the wind gives up and the sun comes out. The sun shines a steady warm light down on the old man, who soon takes his coat off. More and better things are accomplished in this world by kindness and gentleness than by force. When we find ourselves most frustrated, it is often because we are trying to force certain things to happen. Our own patient and steady desire to grow, fed by the love and kindness of others, will not be stopped by anything or anyone. Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. It is...

We will be stronger if we do not try to hide our feelings out of fear. It is the weak who are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.Leo Rosten When we think of strength, do we think of someone who shows no emotion and intimidates others with physical power? True strength is the freedom to show all kinds of feelings. Strong people aren't afraid of being vulnerable. A person who feels insecure may not feel free to show any kind of softness or be able to share gentle feelings. If we have true inner strength, we are not afraid to show what is a part of us, gentle feelings included. It is wonderful to see a well-conditioned athlete cry tears of joy after a victory. In such an example we can see physical and emotional strength. In our lives together, we will be stronger if we do not try to hide our feelings out of fear. As our feelings flow, we will increase our self-understanding and build our true strength. Am I strong enough to show how I really feel today? From Today...

I will accept others' imperfections; I do not need to be right. Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. Carlos Castaneda Were we offended by someone today? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong. Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn't matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position, which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished. How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfectio...

Thou shalt not should thyself. Anonymous!! Listen to what we tell ourselves,we can decide which shoulds are want to's, and throw out the rest!! When someone tells us we should do something, do we want to do it, or do we feel mad that someone else is telling us what we want to do? Sometimes we forget that these messages are not our own, but are the desires of others. It's important to listen to what we tell ourselves, to be aware of which messages we're giving ourselves and which come from others. We can make a list of all our shoulds and identify where they came from: parent, boss, friend, self. Then we can decide which shoulds are want to's, and throw out the rest. Doing what we want to is very different from doing what we should, and we can usually do a better job of it. Have I freed myself of shoulds today? From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation http://aaa12stepcccsociety.blogspot.ca/2017/03/aaa12stepccounsellingcsoc...

Do I need to do something just for myself today, need to take a rest and reenergize? Claire Weekes©Think in terms of depletion, not depression.You can understand how a body can replenish itself, whereas it may be difficult to understand the way out of depression. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9290-depression https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qn__jc5py2I https://www.psycom.net/depression-test Despair and depression may come over us suddenly, for no reason we can figure out. But if we stop and reflect, we may realize we are reacting to too much of something--too much work, too much excitement, too much fun. We may be having a letdown after holidays, after completing a project, or at the end of a school year. When we feel a letdown coming on, we must give ourselves time. We need to take some time off and do nothing, plan nothing. Then we can ask God to help us let go of the negative feelings that come along with a letdown. We can plan a small gift for ourselves--a walk...

I will focus on what's happening now!! Things will work out, if we let them. Staying in the Present Moment!! . . Often, one of our biggest questions is "What's going to happen?" We may ask this about our relationships, our career, our recovery, and our life. It is easy to tangle us up in worrisome thoughts. Worrying about what's going to happen blocks us from functioning effectively today. It keeps us from doing our best now. . .. It blocks us from learning and mastering today's lessons. Staying in the now, doing our best, and participating fully today are all we need to do to assure ourselves that what's going to happen tomorrow will be for the best.Staying in the Present Moment Often, one of our biggest questions is "What's going to happen?" . . .. We may ask this about our relationships, our career, our recovery, and our life. It is easy to tangle us up in worrisome thoughts.Things will work out, if we let them. If we must f...

​​​ By gently welcoming the By gently welcoming the children we once were, we become wiser, stronger, and more spiritual.- - Within every man there is the reflection of a woman, and within every woman there is the reflection of a man. Within every man and woman there is also the reflection of an old man and an old woman, a little boy and a little girl. - Hyemeyohsts Storm - - This Cheyenne teaching reminds us of our connections - inside ourselves and with other people. Reading this passage, we are seeing it partly with the eyes of that small child who first learned to read. And perhaps, looking in the mirror today, we can see the traces of the old men we are becoming. We have been close to our mothers or sisters or lovers and have found parts of ourselves in them. By gently welcoming the children we once were, the old men we will be, the part of us that has a woman's outlook, we become wiser, stronger, and more spiritual. - - We don't need to be frightened or disrespectful of t...

I am free to love and be loved? Clearing the Slate One of the greatest gifts we can give is an open, loving heart. And holding on to negative feelings from past relationships is our greatest barrier to that gift. Most of us have had relationships that have ended. When we examine these relationships, we need to clear the emotional slate. Are we holding on to anger or resentments? Are we still feeling victimized? Are we living with the self-defeating beliefs that may be attached to these relationships - Women can't be trusted.... Bosses use people.... There is no such thing as a good relationship.... Let go of all that may be blocking your relationships today. With great certainty, we can know that old feelings and self-defeating beliefs will block us today from giving and getting the love we desire. We can clear the slate of the past. It begins with awareness, honesty, and openness. The process is complete when we reach a state of acceptance and peace toward all from our past. ...