Codependency = Caretaking is a self-defeating!!!
Caretaking is a self-defeating!!!
Taking Care of Ourselves
It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized - because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.
Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don't.
Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.
But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.
Today, I will evaluate whether I've slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another's feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.
It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized - because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.
Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don't.
Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.
But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.
Today, I will evaluate whether I've slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another's feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.
You are reading from the book:
My Gratitude Links from God with God's Help!!
My Gratitude Links from God with God's Help!!
Forgiving others and ourselves
John Bradshaw
Forgiving others and ourselves
John Bradshaw
Carolyn Everett McRae
CaresLifesWisdom AllsortsPetStuff
for Meditations and buying my Books
CaresLifesWisdom AllsortsPetStuff
for Meditations and buying my Books
Above and Beyond AA
I Started this Spiritual Program
in Honor of my Brother James
Who Committed Suicide
He was a 27 years old a Gay JW-
Jehovah Witness=Shamed Him
Not Good!
This is a Spiritual Program using the
AA 12Step Program as a Guide
- to a Happier Balanced Life.
- AAA 12Step Caring Counselling Clinical Society
-Give back & God gives to YOU..
I was the Ny 9/11 Canadian Angel @ Ground Zero-
My Dream is to start 12 Step Churches - God Not Guilt and
12Step Teen Angels- Addiction affects the whole family -
Heal the families of America and the
World and you Heal the System.
Stop the Killing of our Children and Friends!!
CaresLifesWisdom AllsortsPetStuff
that was on CNN and in the the New Papers
Counsellor-Life Coach-Volunteer-Minister-Phila
Above and Beyond AA
I Started this Spiritual Program
in Honor of my Brother James
Who Committed Suicide
Jehovah Witness=Shamed Him
Not Good!
This is a Spiritual Program using the
AA 12Step Program as a Guide
- to a Happier Balanced Life.
- AAA 12Step Caring Counselling Clinical Society
- to a Happier Balanced Life.
- AAA 12Step Caring Counselling Clinical Society
-Give back & God gives to YOU..
I was the Ny 9/11 Canadian Angel @ Ground Zero-
My Dream is to start 12 Step Churches - God Not Guilt and
12Step Teen Angels- Addiction affects the whole family -
Heal the families of America and the
I was the Ny 9/11 Canadian Angel @ Ground Zero-
My Dream is to start 12 Step Churches - God Not Guilt and
12Step Teen Angels- Addiction affects the whole family -
Heal the families of America and the
World and you Heal the System.
Stop the Killing of our Children and Friends!!
Stop the Killing of our Children and Friends!!
CaresLifesWisdom AllsortsPetStuff
that was on CNN and in the the New Papers
Counsellor-Life Coach-Volunteer-Minister-Phila
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